drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
