he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
two words: eviction party
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
