the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
