It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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