my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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