my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
