So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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