So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
