Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
