white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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