it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
