My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
