i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
