I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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