Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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