I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
