are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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