I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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