Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
