he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
