Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
