he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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