I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
