Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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