i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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