please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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