You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize