At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
