Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
