since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
