VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
