I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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