i barfeds in our rink
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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