she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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