so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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