So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
