Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
