you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize