we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize