Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
