Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think your dad took our porno
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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