my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
