called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
