The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
