I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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