I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
