so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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