I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
