so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
