im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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