He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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