508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
