imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
