his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
this is an emotional support booty call
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
