4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize