So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
