What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
