Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize